Looking at actress Sandra Ma Sichun now, you’d totally think the star has it all – a bright future, check; a promising career, check. A child actress who grew up to win the coveted Golden Phoenix and Golden Horse awards for her works The Left Earand Soul Mate which she also co-starred with actress Zhou Dongyu, who would have thought that underneath her sweet appearance and success still hides an insecure girl?
In a recent episode of Not a Loner 看我的生活, the actress reveals that she is actually not very confident and in the past suffered horribly in the hands of bullies. She recounts that while she was still in junior high – a time she considers her personal “hell”, there was a girl who hated her so much that she put chalk water, rag water and mop water into her Coke. And the worst part was that she (Ma Sichun) only realised what the bully had done after she’d drank it already. The girl made her life miserable, often making fun of her and mocking her, even going as far as stealing the letters she’d wanted to send back home to her friends and reading it openly in class.
When finally other people couldn’t stand seeing her get bullied anymore and reported it on her behalf, the girl was forced by her teacher to apologise to a crying Ma Sichun but later mocked her again by asking “what are you crying at, I’ve already apologised!” Her parent’s unsympathetic advise – to just ignore her bully and to keep her head down and work hard to prove she is better than her bully didn’t exactly help too. These events clearly had a deep impact on shaping her sensitive nature as the actress said she still gets easily startled when someone talks too loudly and still suffers from bouts of anxiety and severe insomnia some nights. Even after making a name for herself in the industry, she still has little confidence in herself and sometimes feels that she is “nothing”.
For an insecure person, Ma Sichun has certainly come a looooong way. She reveals how acting has helped her release her emotions. It takes a special kind of strength to be able to make it in an industry that leaves you open to naysayers and bashers looking to tear you down. While she may see herself as not having any confidence, I humbly beg to differ.