Quickly passing off judgement and publicly shaming people for going outside of the norm is nothing new. But when it comes to shaming people for choosing to be single or for choosing not to have kids, it seems the expectation for people to marry and have kids has become so ingrained that we’ll even try to force it on each other.
Take Yang Liping for example. The 61 year old world renowned dancer was just publicly shamed when a Netizen commented on one of her video uploads saying that “a woman’s biggest failure is not having kids, you’re deceiving yourself if you continue to live like that.”
Although she is married, Yang Liping does not have any children with her first or her second husband. Looking back, it’s very possible that her demanding profession could’ve been a factor, what with being on a constant dancer’s diet and having almost zero fat on her body, getting pregnant must surely be difficult. Plus, it would also require her to eat more to ensure she’s growing a healthy baby and that would’ve meant putting down her dancing shoes for a while.
In the past, Yang Liping has also been known to have said that she considers herself as just an observer of life. “Some people live their lives to continue on the succession, some live to enjoy it, some live for the experience while others are spectators. I am a bystander of life. I look at how a tree grows, how rivers flow, how white clouds float and how dew condenses”.
With all the ruckus coming from the Netizen’s comment which surprisingly got more than 12,000++ likes, Yang Liping had this gentle reminder: “People age and people die, and no one can save you. But if your spirit is young, and your breath is beautiful, it will exude a special taste. As long as you realize you’re living well for yourself and are not hurting others, you are free to do you. Thank you for your understanding and love. Hope we can all be at ease, like me!”
Showbiz friends like singer Qi Wei and Carman Lee have also spoken up about the issue. Carman said that as a mature single woman, her comments and DMs are full of questions along that vein, with the particular question “why aren’t you married yet?” the most common. “I want to say, why are we obligated to feel that we must get married? Maybe you didn’t meet the right person at the right time. Not getting married is better than finding the wrong one and having to live with each other. If you are reading this, whether you are a man or a woman, I hope you do not make sloppy decisions about your life because of your age and because of other people’s opinions, you must also learn to respect the personal decisions of others, because it’s their life, not yours.”
Meanwhile, Qi Wei summed it up quite succinctly: “One of the biggest failures of a person is to still have an antiquated definition of what it is to be a woman, and regard having children and grandchildren as their only achievements. . . Fertility tools? ! Haha, we’re long past that!”
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