As Serenade of Peaceful Joy 清平乐 ended its 70-episode run last night, the cast had written up farewell messages for their characters. Wang Kai expressed that he loves his character and would want to play the emperor again if there is a next life. Ren Min and Bian Cheng who were only 19 and 14 when filming the drama last year portrayed princess Huairou and her eunuch Huaiji. For Bian Cheng, the princess was the ray of sunshine in Huaiji’s misfortunate life. Ren Min likewise had a message about their tragic romance hoping that there will come a time when Huairou’s love can be accepted by the people.
Meanwhile, Maggie Jiang Shuying who played Wang Kai’s leading lady Empress Cao addresses the criticisms about her character in a thoughtful post where she opens up about her desire to become popular.
She says, “A monologue from an actress who just can’t get popular. Tonight, Qing Ping Yue ended its run, my company told me to write something as it wraps. Although I have always stubbornly thought that it’s best to stay quiet if you don’t have something good to show for. But… I’ll just write… I can’t be wilful.
In fact, I am inferior and pessimistic. These roles I have played have practically all been attacked. Can’t get popular has become synonymous to me. I admit that my talents are average. Every time I give my all to perform, maybe someone else can easily achieve the same. But I have quite a one-track mind, a silly stubbornness that refuses to lose or accept my fate. ‘The clumsy bird flies early’ and ‘practice makes perfect’ are words I have uttered in my heart countless times.
After Qing Ping Yue premiered and I first saw the comments on the internet that acknowledged Empress Cao, I was very happy. I even joked with my friends, “You see, Empress Cao is more popular than me.” When I said this, I felt proud because I am proud of the character that I portrayed.
At the same time, I also longed to be recognized…. This recognition is not simply about being popular or not. Since I entered the film industry, it was never about acting for the sake of the word popularity that is floating in the air.
But I say without reservations, my ambition is to work with the top production teams and strongest actors. But when it’s my turn for these opportunities, if there was a standard of measurement: Are you qualified enough = Are you popular enough. Once we equate the two, then that’s right, I am an actress who wants to be popular.
Since Qing Ping Le aired, there have been recognitions and disputes. I was once struck by an acting teacher’s comment, passionately thump your chest and act it out again. This time, I admit that I was indeed hurt by some comments, and once speculated whether these they just hated me as a person.
I can accept all the criticisms, but when I’m being bombarded for the things that I do best, I can’t hide my embarrassment and dismay. But I sometimes stand in the position of those who scold me and it doesn’t seem like they’re completely wrong….
For this reason, I was lost for a while. The more sad I became, the more fired up I was. After the darkest moment, there was still a desire, this desire to be popular, but it’s not just about being popular.
Goodbye to Dan Shu! But she will just be like an old friend who’s always by my side for me to care for and for me to worry about.
Tomorrow, is another day of riding the wind and waves.